The close talker: how to maintain personal space

Many years ago, I was at a networking event when I found myself talking to a man with no concept of personal space. He was considerably taller than me and seemed completely unaware of how his height might make him appear intimidating.

I took a step back… and he stepped forward. I moved again… and so did he. We must have looked rather odd, shuffling across the room in a less-than-graceful dance. Eventually, I found myself trapped against a table, leaning back and feeling thoroughly awkward.

Thankfully, a kind soul noticed my discomfort and quite literally inserted themselves between us to give me some breathing room.

I doubt he had any idea what was happening, he seemed blissfully unaware throughout.

But the experience stuck with me, and over the years I’ve developed a few simple ways to handle situations like that more effectively.

Some people simply stand too close for comfort, leaving you feeling uneasy.

Here’s how to manage it without making things awkward:

Adjust your position
Take a small step back. Although it didn’t work for me in that instance, most people will subconsciously mirror your movement and respect the new distance.

Use a prop
Hold a drink, notebook, or bag in front of you. This creates a subtle physical barrier and encourages a more comfortable space between you. If you don’t have a prop then use your hands when you speak to define the space in front of you as yours.

Change your angle
Turn slightly to the side rather than facing them head-on. This naturally opens up the space and can make it easier for others to join the conversation too.

If you’re worried you might be a close talker, here’s a quick check: aim to stand about two forearms’ length apart, roughly the distance you’d be when shaking hands. In most cultures (particularly in Northern Europe), that’s considered a comfortable and respectful distance.

And if nothing seems to work, then direct them to my A-Z of attending face-to-face networking events where I have 26 tips on how to network effectively!