Are you boosting or draining your confidence?

… And what can you do about it?

When I talk about confidence I’m simply talking about a belief in yourself and your abilities.

And when I think about confidence, I’m imagining a light switch. Sometimes it’s on, sometimes off, and sometimes it’s on a dimmer; brightening or fading depending on what you’re doing.

The way you think, move, speak and breathe can either strengthen your self-belief or quietly drain it. So, what might be boosting or undermining your confidence without you realising?

Your thoughts shape your confidence

It’s easy to compare yourself to others, especially when someone seems effortlessly confident. Thoughts like “I’ll never be like that” can slowly erode belief in yourself.

When you notice comparison creeping in, pause and refocus on what you’re learning and doing well.

Confidence grows when you focus on your own progress rather than someone else’s highlight reel.

Your body sends powerful signals

How you stand, sit and move sends signals to your brain. If you hunch over, avoid eye contact or look down, your brain gets the message that you’re unsure. But if you stand tall, lift your chin and look people in the eye, your brain starts to believe you’re confident (even if you weren’t feeling that way to begin with).

Before speaking, plant your feet, roll your shoulders back and lift your chin.

Breathing calms your system

When you’re nervous, your breathing can become shallow or rushed. That sends your body into stress mode, which makes it harder to think clearly or speak calmly.

Calm, steady breathing helps you stay grounded. It slows your heart rate, clears your head and supports a strong, steady voice.

One simple technique to try … before a meeting or presentation, breathe in for four counts, hold for four, and breathe out for four. Do that a few times and notice how it settles your nerves.

Small habits make a big difference

Over-apologising, rushing your words or avoiding eye contact quietly reinforce self-doubt.

Over time, they become patterns and the more you do them, the more they reinforce the idea that you’re not confident.

Start by noticing … do you say “sorry” when you haven’t done anything wrong? Do you speak quickly to get it over with?

Pick one habit and try a small change. Pause before you speak. Look up. Speak a little more slowly. These shifts make a real difference.

Quick wins to boost your confidence today

Confidence isn’t fixed. It grows when you pay attention to what helps you feel strong and what doesn’t.

Your thoughts, your posture, your breathing, your habits are the building blocks. Keep choosing small actions that support you.

You don’t need a full makeover to feel more confident because small wins add up … start by preparing a strong opening line before your next meeting. Practise it out loud until it feels natural. Or ask someone you trust for feedback on how you come across.

These small steps help you feel more in control … and that builds confidence.

Want more support?

Try my free 5-day communication challenge. It’s packed with quick, practical ideas to help you feel more confident when you speak. And if you’ve done that and want more help then, book a call to talk about how I can help.